So…in 2 months I’m entering this relationship with someone via a verbal agreement…in front of witnesses; kinda like a wedding but without the fandangles like a marriage certificate n a white dress. But the explanation I got is that, we go before 3 people. One conducts, 2 witness. We’re both given a brief guideline of the bond being formed, he presents me with his dower (he clearly got the terminologies mixed up.), I accept it and our journey begins. Its more of a husband and wife relationship as opposed to me being his girlfriend and he my boyfriend. But I’m honestly ready to put myself back out there. Rather; I’m ready to give myself completely to this person…he has that maturity I seek in a man and I know he has the ability to teach me things that I at my age can’t understand and I’m willing to be his student in all things.There is this fire that has rivaled any other I’ve ever experienced with anyone else. But even all the red flags that should have pushed me away…after the initial shock n anger…I guess it just stopped bothering me after we both discussed it in a way that would make me understand the kinda man he is. And I’m just drawn to that. He’s so traditional…I feel like a virgin to be completely honest because he’s waiting til after this verbal agreement is made to “bed me” he calls it. He’s told his brothers about me…he’s told his…”companion” about me and I know about her…eventually he’ll tell his son about me and then I’ll meet who I’m supposed to meet. I haven’t told anyone on my side about what’s happening except Gayna because she’s the only person I trust. And I really want her to be a part of this transition I’m making. She’s my best friend. And those 2 are gonna end up in a sit down where I’ll find out whether she approves of him or not.
I believe in my heart that he won’t hurt me and I feel amazingly safe with him. He tells me every day “You truly are absolutely wonderful” and for some reason all I want is to feel the heat of his skin next to mine. I’m ready to submit my body to this man…I’m ready to give my heart to this man with the assurance that he is the one to heal me and make me better than I am now…he yearns for my touch…just as much as I yearn for his “I better hurry my ass up with your Dauri” lol. But for some reason he’s still in disbelief that I’m actually 21 because of the way we’ve been talking. He says he’s never encountered someone like me before and it is affecting him…I’ve never felt this confidence in my entire dating history. We’re both hoping that we can do right by each other and appreciate each other because so far all this feels like such a good thing. He makes me feel like I’m doing the right thing by giving my heart to him.
I’ll update y’all in 2 months. =]
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